Animals and Computers: The Humorous Truth

Technological advancements are becoming universally accessible. Once reserved for brilliant scientists and high achieving Chimpanzees named Ham (yes, we are referred to the first Chimp in space), advanced technologies are now in the hands of everyone. From pension collecting seniors to diaper wearing toddlers, everyone seems able to master new technologies. The pinch and spread mechanism for enlarging images on iPhones is common knowledge. Syncing a smart phone with work calenders and personal photographs has become a basic skill. Bragging about proficiency in Internet searches has become kind of, um, embarrassing; we all have access to Google!

But as commonplace as mastery over various technological platforms has become, we still haven’t made computers popular among members of the Animal Kingdom, aside from Primates. It’s shocking, really, that animals haven’t gravitated toward technology. It would make their lives so much easier! Forget migrating during the winter, birds could just order sunlamps online for extra vitamin D. Grizzly bears struggling to hibernate for a full 3-6 months, could catch up on skipped episodes of Lost on their tablet without leaving their cave or disturbing their roommates.

We’re pretty sure our animal friends haven’t overlooked the perks of being computer literate, so why do they avoid computers? Here are some of our thoughts:

Lets start with dogs.

Initially, we figured that canines avoid computers because operating a computer without opposable thumbs is downright difficult, but after more extensive contemplation, we have determined that dogs just don’t like computers. Why? Well, they can’t stick their heads out of Windows (7), for starters. And can you imagine how frustrating it must be for them to be unable to “mark” every website they visit? Also, commands like Fetch aren’t available on all platforms. How unfortunate for our dog friends! Taking into account these factors, no wonder dogs are unmotivated to master computers. There’s really just nothing in it for them!

As for sheep,

you can brag to them all you want about OS X Lion and how it’s the most advanced OS operating system, but sheep are just not going to trust any technological apparatus that would choose to be run by one of their predators. They might be dressed in wool, but that doesn’t make them wool-headed!

Oh, and speaking of running, if you bring up any activity, even a sedentary one, that involves running to a snail, a turtle, a sloth or a koala, they’re just going to ignore you. They already suffer from time management problems due to being among the world’s slowest moving creatures, so how do you expect them to learn any new skills?

Unlike the lethargic animals, there are others, like elephants,

that would really be interested in using computers, but it’s the darn mouse that keeps scaring them away! What can you do?

After much contemplation, it looks like there are, in fact, good reasons that animals have chosen to stay behind the times and continue to avoid learning how to use a computer.

At the end of the day however, it’s their loss. We can attest to the fact that having access to a computer and the incredible applications and programs available is life changing. Really, where would we be without time sucking social media resources, search engines, time saving automation technologies, an endless selection of games and other entertainment resources? We would be bored!

So, keeping this in mind, we would like to give a drink-less toast to computers and new technologies for providing us with fun and life changing programs that are changing our lives and the world around us, even if our animal friends choose to deny it!

Until next time,
Success Team

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